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Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2019 brings you all the joy and love in the world. Every year I choose a word for the year. Last year was success. Did I have success? In my career, yes. In love, no. Last year love was illusive and every time I thought I had found it with someone, they would leave.

This year I decide to not choose a word but a phrase; “have courage and be kind”. To have courage to let myself be vulnerable and to put myself out there. To not be scared to have my heart broken again. To be kind to the people who have never been kind to me. So far this has been working well, but with some people it is a mission. A mission that I will try to win.

One thing I need to try and overcome this year is my constant feeling of not being good enough. Not being good enough at work, not being good enough mother and not being a good enough person to love.

This feeling stems from way back to when I was a little girl. When I was small, about 8 years old, my mother put me into dancing. She heard about it from a colleague at work. Said colleagues daughter had the most beautiful blond hair. It looked like satin. Till this day. The problem came when my mother, who had an obsession with the colleagues daughter, tried to change me into her. Imagine dying your daughters hair at the age of 8. Trying to get it as blond as hers. When it came to dancing, I always had to try and be like her. Never mind that when it came to competitions, I was better than her and won more competitions.

For many, there would be nothing wrong with it. An overachiever parent who only wants the best for their child, but to an 8 year old, knowing your mother didn’t think you were good enough as you are. That, in order for her to be proud of you, you had to colour your hair and be just like another child. Over the years that never changed. Although I stopped dancing, my mother always found ways to try and change who I was. Instilling that never good enough doubt in my head that stayed with me for years to come.

Fast forward to my first relationship, with my sons father. I was that clingy, wanting to do everything together girlfriend. The fear that someone else could do things for him that I couldn’t, and that made me use my money to buy him things just to keep him interested. When I fell pregnant, he told me to have an abortion. His exact words, “if you want me in your life, you will have an abortion.” I didn’t even hesitate to choose my child.

His father had another girlfriend 4 months after we broke up. And when my son was about 2 weeks, I found out that they were pregnant and that he had proposed. Again that feeling of not being good enough reared its ugly head. Why was I not good enough? Why was my child not good enough? I went through hectic post-partum depression. Crying daily, not being able to handle everything on my own. I eventually recognized what was happening and managed to focus on my son. Those feelings never went away and through the years I have had breakdowns thinking about it. “What if I had changed something about myself, would he have stayed?”

Every relationship after my son was born has been short lived. I never feel good enough. Questions always pop into my head. “Why me? I’m sure there is someone else better”. I doubt how I look and my personality. And when they eventually get tired of me and ghost me, my self-esteem takes a terrible dive.

My friends all tell me what a great person I am and how an man would be lucky to have me and I wish I could see it from their perspective but I can’t. I can’t see what they see. And when guys ghost me, I have an even harder time seeing it.

This year I made a decision too love myself first. To do what is good for me. This year I am studying Software Development and Programming. It is way out of my comfort zone but nothing great ever comes from staying there. I will take myself on dates and do things I want to do. I want to learn to love me and maybe be able to see what others see in me.

Here is to 2019, may it be the year that we all love ourselves a little bit more.

2019 ~ Have courage and be kind

Wednesday, 9 January 2019



Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2019 brings you all the joy and love in the world. Every year I choose a word for the year. Last year was success. Did I have success? In my career, yes. In love, no. Last year love was illusive and every time I thought I had found it with someone, they would leave.

This year I decide to not choose a word but a phrase; “have courage and be kind”. To have courage to let myself be vulnerable and to put myself out there. To not be scared to have my heart broken again. To be kind to the people who have never been kind to me. So far this has been working well, but with some people it is a mission. A mission that I will try to win.

One thing I need to try and overcome this year is my constant feeling of not being good enough. Not being good enough at work, not being good enough mother and not being a good enough person to love.

This feeling stems from way back to when I was a little girl. When I was small, about 8 years old, my mother put me into dancing. She heard about it from a colleague at work. Said colleagues daughter had the most beautiful blond hair. It looked like satin. Till this day. The problem came when my mother, who had an obsession with the colleagues daughter, tried to change me into her. Imagine dying your daughters hair at the age of 8. Trying to get it as blond as hers. When it came to dancing, I always had to try and be like her. Never mind that when it came to competitions, I was better than her and won more competitions.

For many, there would be nothing wrong with it. An overachiever parent who only wants the best for their child, but to an 8 year old, knowing your mother didn’t think you were good enough as you are. That, in order for her to be proud of you, you had to colour your hair and be just like another child. Over the years that never changed. Although I stopped dancing, my mother always found ways to try and change who I was. Instilling that never good enough doubt in my head that stayed with me for years to come.

Fast forward to my first relationship, with my sons father. I was that clingy, wanting to do everything together girlfriend. The fear that someone else could do things for him that I couldn’t, and that made me use my money to buy him things just to keep him interested. When I fell pregnant, he told me to have an abortion. His exact words, “if you want me in your life, you will have an abortion.” I didn’t even hesitate to choose my child.

His father had another girlfriend 4 months after we broke up. And when my son was about 2 weeks, I found out that they were pregnant and that he had proposed. Again that feeling of not being good enough reared its ugly head. Why was I not good enough? Why was my child not good enough? I went through hectic post-partum depression. Crying daily, not being able to handle everything on my own. I eventually recognized what was happening and managed to focus on my son. Those feelings never went away and through the years I have had breakdowns thinking about it. “What if I had changed something about myself, would he have stayed?”

Every relationship after my son was born has been short lived. I never feel good enough. Questions always pop into my head. “Why me? I’m sure there is someone else better”. I doubt how I look and my personality. And when they eventually get tired of me and ghost me, my self-esteem takes a terrible dive.

My friends all tell me what a great person I am and how an man would be lucky to have me and I wish I could see it from their perspective but I can’t. I can’t see what they see. And when guys ghost me, I have an even harder time seeing it.

This year I made a decision too love myself first. To do what is good for me. This year I am studying Software Development and Programming. It is way out of my comfort zone but nothing great ever comes from staying there. I will take myself on dates and do things I want to do. I want to learn to love me and maybe be able to see what others see in me.

Here is to 2019, may it be the year that we all love ourselves a little bit more.

Christmas-ginger-cookies

Our family loves ginger cookies. Dipped in coffee and we are all very content. We have a ginger cookie recipe that has bee passed down from generation to generation. It makes the best cookies you could ever imagine. I thought I would share it with you.

Ingredients

* 125 ml honey (most recipes say syrup but we use honey instead)
* 100 ml soft butter
* 2.5 cup all-purpose flour
* 10 ml baking soda
* 10 ml cream of tartar
* 25 ml ground ginger
* 2 eggs
* 300 ml brown sugar
* A little white sugar for cookies

Method

- Preheat the oven to 180 degrees.

- Melt the butter and honey until well mixed and set it aside to cool.

- Add the eggs and mix in.

- Slowly mix in the sugar, letting it sink in rather be mixed into the mixture.

- In another bowl, sift in the dry ingredients and spices before adding the wet mixture in.
- Mix it all together.

- Cover with cling film and let it rest in the fridge for an hour.

- After the mixture has cooled for an hour, take small bits of the mixture and roll into balls. On the baking tray, sprinkle the white sugar on the tray and push each individual ball down with your finger then using a fork make a design.

- Bake the cookies for 12 minutes.

- Remove and allow to cool.


Christmas Ginger Cookies

Thursday, 6 December 2018

Christmas-ginger-cookies

Our family loves ginger cookies. Dipped in coffee and we are all very content. We have a ginger cookie recipe that has bee passed down from generation to generation. It makes the best cookies you could ever imagine. I thought I would share it with you.

Ingredients

* 125 ml honey (most recipes say syrup but we use honey instead)
* 100 ml soft butter
* 2.5 cup all-purpose flour
* 10 ml baking soda
* 10 ml cream of tartar
* 25 ml ground ginger
* 2 eggs
* 300 ml brown sugar
* A little white sugar for cookies

Method

- Preheat the oven to 180 degrees.

- Melt the butter and honey until well mixed and set it aside to cool.

- Add the eggs and mix in.

- Slowly mix in the sugar, letting it sink in rather be mixed into the mixture.

- In another bowl, sift in the dry ingredients and spices before adding the wet mixture in.
- Mix it all together.

- Cover with cling film and let it rest in the fridge for an hour.

- After the mixture has cooled for an hour, take small bits of the mixture and roll into balls. On the baking tray, sprinkle the white sugar on the tray and push each individual ball down with your finger then using a fork make a design.

- Bake the cookies for 12 minutes.

- Remove and allow to cool.


local-brands-gift-guide

What a better way to celebrate Christmas than to buy locally made gifts for friends and family? I thought I would share a list of the things I am eyeing for myself and friends. I found that most of the homemade local brands can be found on Hello Pretty. Have a look at the list below:




If you are on Instagram, you might have heard of this amazing journal. We all have a bucket list and this journal makes it so much easier to keep track of everything you want to accomplish. 


If you like me love anything with Hyaluronic acid in, this is best overnight mask for you. Infused with wildflower honey, marula oil, wakame extract and hyaluronic acid, this mask will leave your skin feeling smooth and supple in the morning. 


I have heard so many good things about this tonic. Almost like toner but so much more than one. It contains malachite, baobab fruit powder and organic rose water. It also has a rich omega oil layer to put back lost moisture from washing your face. 


Facial powders as cleansers are all the rage lately, I tried another brands and it really helped with my breakouts on my skin. I am very keen to give this one a try. Made from a mixture of natural herbs and minerals, it purifies the skin. You can use it as a cleanser or mix it with a bit of honey to make a restorative mask.


Who doesn't love pretty wall art? I know I do, and for our new offices next year, I want a few pretty pieces of wall art for my desk. I love unicorns so this one is absolutely awesome! This store on Hello Pretty has many different designs. 


As a family we love the Avengers and are prone to losing or misplacing our keys. This awesome design lets you place your keys in the holder so you know where your keys are at all times. Quiet nifty I say. It will be a fight to see who gets which Superhero. Hallo Jane doesn't just do key rings, no they do jewellery too. 


With the return of Game of Thrones next year, this is a mug I really want. Qtees Africa has the coolest gear around. Fun quotations on everything from hoodies to mugs. 

Do you have local brands you will be buying from? I would love to know in the comments below. 

Local brands - Gift Guide

Wednesday, 5 December 2018

local-brands-gift-guide

What a better way to celebrate Christmas than to buy locally made gifts for friends and family? I thought I would share a list of the things I am eyeing for myself and friends. I found that most of the homemade local brands can be found on Hello Pretty. Have a look at the list below:




If you are on Instagram, you might have heard of this amazing journal. We all have a bucket list and this journal makes it so much easier to keep track of everything you want to accomplish. 


If you like me love anything with Hyaluronic acid in, this is best overnight mask for you. Infused with wildflower honey, marula oil, wakame extract and hyaluronic acid, this mask will leave your skin feeling smooth and supple in the morning. 


I have heard so many good things about this tonic. Almost like toner but so much more than one. It contains malachite, baobab fruit powder and organic rose water. It also has a rich omega oil layer to put back lost moisture from washing your face. 


Facial powders as cleansers are all the rage lately, I tried another brands and it really helped with my breakouts on my skin. I am very keen to give this one a try. Made from a mixture of natural herbs and minerals, it purifies the skin. You can use it as a cleanser or mix it with a bit of honey to make a restorative mask.


Who doesn't love pretty wall art? I know I do, and for our new offices next year, I want a few pretty pieces of wall art for my desk. I love unicorns so this one is absolutely awesome! This store on Hello Pretty has many different designs. 


As a family we love the Avengers and are prone to losing or misplacing our keys. This awesome design lets you place your keys in the holder so you know where your keys are at all times. Quiet nifty I say. It will be a fight to see who gets which Superhero. Hallo Jane doesn't just do key rings, no they do jewellery too. 


With the return of Game of Thrones next year, this is a mug I really want. Qtees Africa has the coolest gear around. Fun quotations on everything from hoodies to mugs. 

Do you have local brands you will be buying from? I would love to know in the comments below. 

christmas-fun-would-you-rather

Christmas is a time for fun, right? So I thought I would do a little would you rather post about Christmas. All in the name of fun and lightning the load off this stressful year. 


Have Elf ears or a Santa beard?

Ooh definitely elf ears. I always wanted them from the time I was small and then I saw Lord of the Rings and I wanted elf ears more.

Have Rudolf follow you around every day until Christmas or be followed by Frosty the Snowman?

I'll take Rudolf. Although I doubt he would last in this heat.

Wrap Christmas presents for 8 hours or help children take pictures with Santa at the Mall?

I suck at wrapping presents. So give me children in the mall with Santa any day.

7 hours of Christmas shopping or 10 hours of Christmas movies?

10 hours of Christmas movies! More time spent with loved ones than spending money.

Have a Red Rudolf Nose or a Frosty button nose?

Rudolf nose any day.

Ask everyone you meet their favorite color or smile really big at everyone and not say anything?

Ask people their favorite color. It can tell you a lot about people.

Watch Elf or It's a Wonderful Life?

Elf for sure.

Make snow angels or go ice skating?

Ice Skating all day every day!

Live in a giant Gingerbread House or in Santa’s Toy Shop?

Santa’s Toy shop! Imagine all the things you can do.

7 levels of the candy cane forest or sea of swirly whirly gumdrops?

7 levels for sure. Who doesn’t love Candy cane forest?

Eat only Fruitcake for a week or drink only Egg Nog for a week?

Egg nog for me as I hate the dates in fruit cake.

Candy Cane legs or gum drops for eyes?

Candy Cane legs hehe.

Large ornaments for earrings or a decorated wreath necklace?

Ornament earrings. Imagine the style!

Sing Jingle Bells once every hour for 2 weeks or wear an Elf costume to work for 1 week?

Elf costume then I can rock the elf ears.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas or Christmas Story?

How the Grinch stole Christmas for sure.

Wear a hat made of mistletoe or …or wear Jingle Bells on your feet for a week?

Hat of mistletoe for sure… Imagine all the kisses.

Mittens for hands or ski's for feet?

Mitten hands please. I can still drink hot chocolate with mittens.

Have your Elf on a Shelf talk to you or talk with your Christmas tree?

Talk to the Elf on the shelf. Imagine the stories he could tell of all the naughty things he gets up too.

Christmas lights for  fingernails or …Silver tinsel for hair?

Silver tinsel for hair. I love tinsel so much and I love grey hair. So this would work for both.

Home with family for the Holidays or Disney world by yourself?

Home with family. Family is so important and are only here for a little while. Disney world will always be here.

Sing Christmas Carols by yourself or sit on Santa's lap for 1 hour?

Well if he is a hot Santa then definitely sitting on Santa’s lap for any hour.

Be in a scene from Home Alone or Elf?

Home alone! I love playing pranks on people and would definitely help him catch the robbers.

Be an Elf at the North Pole or one of Santa’s Reindeer?

Santa’s reindeer for sure. All the places you could see flying around at night.

Snowed in with lots of family during the holidays or on a beach with just a few of your family?

Snowed in. I always wanted to see snow and have a white Christmas.

Spend 11 hours untangling Christmas lights or find the one light that is out on a string of Christmas lights a mile long?

Find the one light on the string. I am very impatient with tangles.

Bonfire and Smores or Holiday video and hot chocolate?

Holiday video and hot chocolate.

Play in the Super Bowl or perform in the Nutcracker?

Perform in the Nutcracker. I’m more artistically inclined than I am at sports.

Snowball for a head or 100 jingle bells for hair?

100 jingle bells for hair. I can jingle all the way!

Be an angel on top of the tree or a Jack in the Box toy?

Jack in a Box, so I can scare little children… my evilness has shown itself.

Spend a day with the Grinch or Jack Frost?

With the Grinch. He is so anti-Christmas. Like I am most times.

Go sledding or take a horse drawn sleigh ride?

Sledding. So many epic fail moments with lots of fun and laughter.

Naughty or Nice list?

Definitely the Naughty list.

Have snowflakes for eyelashes or ...icicles for teeth?

Snowflake eyelashes. Perfect for Christmas parties.

Have holly for hair or wear Christmas stockings for legs?

Christmas stockings – as long as people put presents in.

Wear ugly Christmas sweaters for 1 year or stay with the Abdominal snowman for 1 week?

Wear ugly Christmas sweaters for the year. I’m scared of the Abdominal snowman.

Frankincense or Myrrh

Myrrh. It is so warming.

Take a look at Santa's list or Peek at your presents?

Peek at presents. I hate surprises.

Laugh like Santa or talk like an elf?

Talk like an elf just to irritate everyone.

String a mile of popcorn garland or light & keep 500 candles burning at once?

String a mile of popcorn garland. So much easier.


Christmas fun ~ Would you rather

Tuesday, 4 December 2018


christmas-fun-would-you-rather

Christmas is a time for fun, right? So I thought I would do a little would you rather post about Christmas. All in the name of fun and lightning the load off this stressful year. 


Have Elf ears or a Santa beard?

Ooh definitely elf ears. I always wanted them from the time I was small and then I saw Lord of the Rings and I wanted elf ears more.

Have Rudolf follow you around every day until Christmas or be followed by Frosty the Snowman?

I'll take Rudolf. Although I doubt he would last in this heat.

Wrap Christmas presents for 8 hours or help children take pictures with Santa at the Mall?

I suck at wrapping presents. So give me children in the mall with Santa any day.

7 hours of Christmas shopping or 10 hours of Christmas movies?

10 hours of Christmas movies! More time spent with loved ones than spending money.

Have a Red Rudolf Nose or a Frosty button nose?

Rudolf nose any day.

Ask everyone you meet their favorite color or smile really big at everyone and not say anything?

Ask people their favorite color. It can tell you a lot about people.

Watch Elf or It's a Wonderful Life?

Elf for sure.

Make snow angels or go ice skating?

Ice Skating all day every day!

Live in a giant Gingerbread House or in Santa’s Toy Shop?

Santa’s Toy shop! Imagine all the things you can do.

7 levels of the candy cane forest or sea of swirly whirly gumdrops?

7 levels for sure. Who doesn’t love Candy cane forest?

Eat only Fruitcake for a week or drink only Egg Nog for a week?

Egg nog for me as I hate the dates in fruit cake.

Candy Cane legs or gum drops for eyes?

Candy Cane legs hehe.

Large ornaments for earrings or a decorated wreath necklace?

Ornament earrings. Imagine the style!

Sing Jingle Bells once every hour for 2 weeks or wear an Elf costume to work for 1 week?

Elf costume then I can rock the elf ears.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas or Christmas Story?

How the Grinch stole Christmas for sure.

Wear a hat made of mistletoe or …or wear Jingle Bells on your feet for a week?

Hat of mistletoe for sure… Imagine all the kisses.

Mittens for hands or ski's for feet?

Mitten hands please. I can still drink hot chocolate with mittens.

Have your Elf on a Shelf talk to you or talk with your Christmas tree?

Talk to the Elf on the shelf. Imagine the stories he could tell of all the naughty things he gets up too.

Christmas lights for  fingernails or …Silver tinsel for hair?

Silver tinsel for hair. I love tinsel so much and I love grey hair. So this would work for both.

Home with family for the Holidays or Disney world by yourself?

Home with family. Family is so important and are only here for a little while. Disney world will always be here.

Sing Christmas Carols by yourself or sit on Santa's lap for 1 hour?

Well if he is a hot Santa then definitely sitting on Santa’s lap for any hour.

Be in a scene from Home Alone or Elf?

Home alone! I love playing pranks on people and would definitely help him catch the robbers.

Be an Elf at the North Pole or one of Santa’s Reindeer?

Santa’s reindeer for sure. All the places you could see flying around at night.

Snowed in with lots of family during the holidays or on a beach with just a few of your family?

Snowed in. I always wanted to see snow and have a white Christmas.

Spend 11 hours untangling Christmas lights or find the one light that is out on a string of Christmas lights a mile long?

Find the one light on the string. I am very impatient with tangles.

Bonfire and Smores or Holiday video and hot chocolate?

Holiday video and hot chocolate.

Play in the Super Bowl or perform in the Nutcracker?

Perform in the Nutcracker. I’m more artistically inclined than I am at sports.

Snowball for a head or 100 jingle bells for hair?

100 jingle bells for hair. I can jingle all the way!

Be an angel on top of the tree or a Jack in the Box toy?

Jack in a Box, so I can scare little children… my evilness has shown itself.

Spend a day with the Grinch or Jack Frost?

With the Grinch. He is so anti-Christmas. Like I am most times.

Go sledding or take a horse drawn sleigh ride?

Sledding. So many epic fail moments with lots of fun and laughter.

Naughty or Nice list?

Definitely the Naughty list.

Have snowflakes for eyelashes or ...icicles for teeth?

Snowflake eyelashes. Perfect for Christmas parties.

Have holly for hair or wear Christmas stockings for legs?

Christmas stockings – as long as people put presents in.

Wear ugly Christmas sweaters for 1 year or stay with the Abdominal snowman for 1 week?

Wear ugly Christmas sweaters for the year. I’m scared of the Abdominal snowman.

Frankincense or Myrrh

Myrrh. It is so warming.

Take a look at Santa's list or Peek at your presents?

Peek at presents. I hate surprises.

Laugh like Santa or talk like an elf?

Talk like an elf just to irritate everyone.

String a mile of popcorn garland or light & keep 500 candles burning at once?

String a mile of popcorn garland. So much easier.



You know what it is like going to the malls in the festive season? Christmas decorations everywhere and Christmas music playing all the time. I know a lot of people get irritated by it but I am a sucker for Christmas music. It makes me so happy and really gets me in the spirit. I thought I would share my Christmas Playlist with you.

Last Christmas - Wham


I heard this song for the first time when I was 8, playing in one of those fun parks we used to have in the malls. I actually stopped and listened to the whole song, and since then it has been my favorite song of all time. 

Jingle Bells - Denmark + Winter


You know when you find those bands or groups that you just want to keep to yourself? Like you never want to share their music with anyone? I'm like that with Denmark + Winter. The remake versions of old songs and make them so hauntingly good. This rendition of Jingle Bells always makes me feel so festive. 

Hallelujah - Pentatonix


Another favorite group that I totally love for the way they remake songs. Just this time they do it all acapella. Their Christmas songs are just the best. Very cheerful and so good to get you in the spirit of Christmas.

Mistletoe - Justin Beiber


Couldn't do a Christmas playlist and not include this Justin Beiber smasher. I am not a fan of Justin but this song is just the best. I adore this song, and know all the words to it. It is cheesy and corny but that is why I love it.

Underneath the tree - Kelly Clarkson


I am the biggest Kelly Clarkson fan ever. This is my girl. Although I love every single song on this album, this song is just the best. I love this song so much. Such a fun song that just makes me want to break out into a Christmas musical.

Mary's Boy Child - Boney M


Is it even a Christmas playlist without a Boney M song on the list. My dad always says, no matter what shop or mall you go into they will always be playing Boney M. This song is iconic!

There are a few more songs but these ones are my absolute favorites. Do you have a Christmas playlist that gets you in the spirit of Christmas? 

Christmas Playlist

Monday, 3 December 2018


You know what it is like going to the malls in the festive season? Christmas decorations everywhere and Christmas music playing all the time. I know a lot of people get irritated by it but I am a sucker for Christmas music. It makes me so happy and really gets me in the spirit. I thought I would share my Christmas Playlist with you.

Last Christmas - Wham


I heard this song for the first time when I was 8, playing in one of those fun parks we used to have in the malls. I actually stopped and listened to the whole song, and since then it has been my favorite song of all time. 

Jingle Bells - Denmark + Winter


You know when you find those bands or groups that you just want to keep to yourself? Like you never want to share their music with anyone? I'm like that with Denmark + Winter. The remake versions of old songs and make them so hauntingly good. This rendition of Jingle Bells always makes me feel so festive. 

Hallelujah - Pentatonix


Another favorite group that I totally love for the way they remake songs. Just this time they do it all acapella. Their Christmas songs are just the best. Very cheerful and so good to get you in the spirit of Christmas.

Mistletoe - Justin Beiber


Couldn't do a Christmas playlist and not include this Justin Beiber smasher. I am not a fan of Justin but this song is just the best. I adore this song, and know all the words to it. It is cheesy and corny but that is why I love it.

Underneath the tree - Kelly Clarkson


I am the biggest Kelly Clarkson fan ever. This is my girl. Although I love every single song on this album, this song is just the best. I love this song so much. Such a fun song that just makes me want to break out into a Christmas musical.

Mary's Boy Child - Boney M


Is it even a Christmas playlist without a Boney M song on the list. My dad always says, no matter what shop or mall you go into they will always be playing Boney M. This song is iconic!

There are a few more songs but these ones are my absolute favorites. Do you have a Christmas playlist that gets you in the spirit of Christmas? 
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