Letter to my 20 year old self

Wednesday, 20 June 2018


Dear Shalane

You're 20 and you have experienced so many things in the last 10 years. It has made you stronger, no doubt. Living through all the abuse and drinking, having to wonder if you would see the next day? But you know what you made it through. The next few years are going to be even harder though. But I want to give you so advice to carry you through the next 11 years. Advice I wish I had, so here goes.

* This first love that you think is the one, he isn't honey. He is just a guy looking for the next cash cow. He will say he is different and maybe in the beginning he will be but a few years down the line he is going to become the person you feared.

* Don't worry though because even though he isn't the person you thought he was, he is going to give you the most prized possession ever. Your little angel Robbie. This little angel will love you unconditionally. He will be your sun and moon and your world will gravitate around him.

* Life is going to be hard. There are going to be times when you feel like you can't go on but you need to, ok! For yourself and for Robbie. Always look for the good in everything. Don't stress about the little things you can't change. Be humble. Love hard like you always do, the right ones will stay. 

* You will cut family out of your life. It may see wrong but you need to do it. Don't give in. It is better for your sanity.

* When it comes to guys, don't get attached. It isn't good for your soul. You have so much to offer that someone special. Wait until someone shows the same interest in you before you get attached. There is nothing worse that loving someone that doesn't love you with the same intensity. Just wait it out, the right one will come.

* You will meet new friends along way, some will stay but some will go. Cherish the ones who care about you. Who ask you how you are and want to give you the world. The others are just there for the ride. Know when to cut people out of your life.

* Most of all, love yourself! Look after yourself. Eat well and move it. And never, ever stop loving as fiercely as you always do. 

I will always be there for you. 

Love your 31 year old self

xx

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